Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

Sunday, 18 June 2017

Why it is irrational and unnecessary to live in fear of disapproval and criticism?

Do you constantly live in fear of approval.Following are few automatic thoughts and it depends on the extent to which you  believe these thoughts tells about the  fear of disapproval and criticism in you:

1.Criticism will obviously upset the person who receives the criticism.

2.It is the best to give up your own interests in order to please others.

3.I need other people's approval in order to be happy.

4.If someone important to me expects me to do something, then I really should do it.

5.My value as a person depends greatly on what others think of me.

Now if you do a logical analysis on why the fear of criticism and approval is unnecessary and irrational , we can overcome this fear.

1.Remember that when someone reacts negatively to you, it may be his or her irrational thinking that is at the heart of the disapproval.

2.If the criticism is valid , this need not destroy you.You can pinpoint the error and take steps to correct it.You can learn from your mistakes, and you don't have to be ashamed of them.If you are human , you should and must make mistakes at times.

3.If you have goofed up , it does not follow that you are a BORN LOSER.It is impossible to be wrong all the time or even most of the time.Think about the thousands of things you have done right in your life!Furthermore you can change and grow.

4.Other people cannot judge your worth as a human being, only the validity or merit of specific things you do or say.

5.Everyone will judge you differently no matter how well you do or how badly you might behave.Disapproval cannot spread like wildfire, and one rejection cannot lead to a never ending series of rejections.So even if worse comes to worst and you do get rejected by someone, you can't end up totally alone.

6.Disapproval and criticism are usually uncomfortable, but the discomfort will pass.Stop moping.Get involved in an activity you've enjoyed in the past even though you feel certain it's absolutely pointlless to start.

7.Criticism and disapproval can upset you only to the extent that you "buy into" the accusations being brought against you.

8.Disapproval is rarely permanent.It doesn't follow that your relationship with the person who disapproves of you will necessarily end with you just because you are being criticized .Arguments are a part of living , and in the majority of cases you can come to a common understanding later on.

9.If you are criticizing someone else,it doesn't make that person totally bad.Why give another individual the power and right to judge you? We're all just human beings , not Supreme Court justices .Don't magnify other people until they are larger than life. 
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